Shame Spiraling

So things have not been going well. I was told by my Dr's that the only way I am going to loose weight and lower my blood pressure is to starts sleeping deeply regularly. Well it doesn't look like that is going to happen anytime soon. My insurance is refusing to pay for my sleep apnea device. They said it wasn't severe enough, my Dr even did a peer to peer with the insurance Co. and they still are refusing coverage. That set me in to a pretty deep depression to find out that I have to get worse before I get any help. 

I have never thought of myself as a control freak when it comes to other people. But I fully admit that I want to be in control of my own environment. So some of you have heard about how our 35 year old house was built with plumbing that has a 25 year life span. So guess who gets to fix it. Some of you may say. "Oh replacing a few pipes no big deal". No... This is my front yard

And this is my laundry room

notice the complete lack of laundry going on. Don't get me wrong I am extremely grateful to all the friends and family that have been working and digging to make this happen. But I am kind of loosing my mind and for some reason it is causing my depression to worsen. 

On top of all this crap I was just in a car accident. 

Basically I stopped for a stop sign and the person behind me didn't. I banged up my knee and my joints are killing me. Nothing serious or permanent but I can't stop crying over EVERYTHING. I am told I have a little bit of Post Traumatic Stress. But once again my depression is deepening. 

Now don't get me wrong I have still been able to stay with not eating any fast food I was exercising up until my accident and I think I can start again tomorrow. I am still struggling with eating after 7 but I would say I succeed about 90% of the time.  

I have to admit I don't think I can give myself a goal right now. I really feel like I have so much on my plate (no pun intended) 

 that the idea of adding something else makes me want to cry. 

Like I haven't been doing that very often.

I would definitely appreciate some words of encouragement. So if you have any I would love to hear from you.